Sleep

Why is it so difficult to sleep on this bus? It's a nice bus, kitted out like a narrow boat on wheels - you can't look anywhere without seeing polished wood of some description. The bunks are comfortable and spacious (with a full window this time) and all the facilities one would expect are present and correct - playstation, dvd, well-stocked fridge, etc. Ooh, and wifi! Maybe it's the schedule we've been keeping? Once we're loaded up and ready to go it's generally gone two in the morning and that often heralds the first chance we've had to get something decent to eat all day. Or maybe it's the bumpiness of the Turkish roads? It seems you can't go more than two hundred yards in this country without feeling you've driven over a badly designed cattle grid. Or some cattle. You're continually being jolted awake from your shallow slumber, all the while fearing that if the driver takes the next corner too speedily you might find yourself in a heap among the socks in the aisle. Then again it could be the heat. The bus has excellent air conditioning, though unfortunately it's being rationed like food in a Dickensian workhouse. When asked to turn it on the driver cheerily obliges, as he should as the band are paying for it, but then works under the assumption that this will be the only occasion, ever, that we will require cool air. Surely it should have clicked by now, after the quadrillionth time of being asked? If it's hot (which it is, every day) turn the damn thing on. I can hear Bill Hicks' father now as he responds to his son's request for the blessed relief of air-con as they drive through the baking heat of Arizona.

"No son, it eats gas."

One generally wakes feeling mildly roughed up, coupled with the disconcerting feeling that someone's been trying to smother you with hot, damp smelly towels. Not ideal at all.

Didn't see much of Istanbul and Ankara unfortunately, partly due to the Turkish plague of half-arsed venue staff doubling or trebling the time it takes us to set up with their incompetence and lethargy. Moan, moan, moan.

On a lighter note, it's a lovely morning and we're heading to Izmir by the sea for the last show of the tour, and it's open-air. Should be a good day.

Just arrived in Frankfurt and it's piddling down. Not much to report from Hamburg - good crowd, good local crew, nice take on the traditional ham and cheese load-in grub. All very efficient.

Sonisphere Madrid

Another day, another Sonisphere. This one was going to be nuts from the start as ever-thrifty Les had us flying home the moment we cleared the stage in a worthy effort to save money on flights. Of course this would mean a pretty tight schedule, one exacerbated by hour after tedious hour of delays caused by, among other things, adverse weather and dumb passengers. We were delayed (thankfully) by thunderstorms on the way to Madrid; our flight was bumpy, Dan's and Vincent's from Paris choppier still, though the one carrying Porcupine Tree's crew was reportedly a terrifying journey into hell. The reason for the thunderstorms was the insane Spanish heat. Anathema played in blazing mid-afternoon sunshine on a baking stage (106 Fahrenheit if the thermometer was to be believed), John no doubt regretting not bringing a sombrero with him. I on the other hand could really have done with some oven gloves to aid the removal of pedals after the show. It was a speedy pack down and then straight to the airport and back to Bristol on a plane full of very well behaved though quite staggeringly talkative school children. All in a day(and a half)s work for your trusty crew. Italy and the Pistoia Blues festival on Wednesday.

One way of dealing with Spanish heat.

Oulu

Back in the old sausage factory and it's piddling down. The equipment didn't arrive in time last night so the band made do with what was available - a random assortment of guitars, amps, drums and keyboards courtesy of tremendous supports (and sports) Anneka van Giersbergen and Petter Carlsen and the chaps at the rehearsal space connected to the venue. It all sounded pretty good, though unsurprisingly some of the keyboard sounds were a bit rinky-dink, and my lack of a tuner caused me some major headaches off stage. Still, a damn good gig nonetheless. Trusty Tim arrived with the new transport halfway through the show, and what a bus it is. Bigger, comfier, more luxurious and sporting a bonkers paint job. It says "Royal Class" on each side. I like that. Tim doesn't like it but we want to keep it, not least because the downstairs pub is twice the size and will provide a perfect setting for the planned quiz night and karaoke session. It arrived pulling a trailer full of brand new posh amps kindly loaned by the nice people at Peavey UK and they're being put through their paces as I write this. It all sounds bloody great, not least because Danny and Vincent have fancy new effects boards and one or two new cables and power supplies to boot. John (who was this evening delivered to the stage in a multi-couloured shopping trolley) has new cymbals as well. This is all of course nothing compared to the sheer magnificence of my new toolbox. Les may not be impressed but what the hell does he know anyway?

Bucharest (part 1)

I write this on the bus as it makes its way towards our gig in Bucharest. It's currently seven pm local time and we're still a good fifty kilometres from our destination. The doors are already open to punters and the venue has a strict ten o'clock curfew. We left Budapest at two in the morning and have done what seems to be the equivalent of driving the length of the British Isles via the back roads. Seriously, we've been through some proper nutty terrain - village after remote mountain village of tumbledown shacks, the only indication someone's living in them being the lines of washing hanging outside. Cows are herded across the (very busy) roads, donkeys pull hay-filled carts and entire families wander along with little regard for the trucks thundering by mere inches from them. Add to that the suicidal overtaking manoeuvres attempted by local drivers and the manky stray dogs running out to attack passing vehicles and you've got one seriously uncomfortable ride.

Krakow

It's been a few gigs since my last post as I couldn't muster the required effort after having my laptop stolen in Oslo. Still, one mustn't dwell on such things. I have most of my stuff backed up and there were no bank details or other sensitive info on there. Enjoy your new computer dick head.

So, we've been to Arhus, Berlin and Warsaw since the last post and it's been pretty much sleep, load in, gig, load out, sleep, load in, etc, etc. There's been a bit of time for post-gig merriment on the bus but my merry-making has been of the quick night cap and straight to bunk variety. Nevertheless, it always seems to be four in the morning before I get there. Luckily I have a few series of Count Arthur Strong's Radio Show on my phone to listen to so all is not lost entertainment-wise.

I found a good answer for the occasions when the tour manager asks if you have any more names for the guest list. Simply reply, "Yes, sometimes I call it the friends register." Guaranteed to raise a titter. The more you say it the more the TM will love it.

We have a day off tomorrow and it looks like we'll be having a look around Auschwitz.

UK Tour

Currently on our way to Sheffield for gig number three and things are going pretty well. Despite being a man or two down crew-wise load-ins and outs have been relatively stress free and have in fact proved a useful source of exercise, this being good as you'll never find me giving any of my hard-earned cash to a poxy gym. North Atlantic Oscillation (so nice to have a support act I like) have been chipping in, and the local crew at the Cathouse in Glasgow were supremely keen and helpful, making the hell of their steep sticky stairs that little bit more bearable. On the subject of the Cathouse, this was the gig I was least looking forward to on this jaunt. Last time we were there (on the day Obama won the 2008 presidential race) the band played to around eighty punters in a filthy room (or was it eighty filthy punters in a room?). The dressing room was a dimly lit pigsty (the shower would more aptly have been employed as a second toilet should the other be occupied and the need great), and the catering seemed the product of some nightmare that involved wandering aimlessly around Netto with a dole cheque. Not so on this occasion. It's amazing what a lick of paint and a bit of TLC can do to a place. Three hundred or so punters this time as well.

In other news, Vincent is playing a shiny new Paul Reed Smith for part of the set, leaving me with the formidable task of figuring out a way to purloin it without anyone noticing. It is a very nice guitar. Les currently has a form of beard growing on his face, causing some to liken him to the late Dennis Hopper. Personally, I see more of a resemblance to Albert Steptoe.

Bordeaux

"Alright you f*cking c*nts, please welcome, all the way from Sweden, the worst singer-songwriter in the world......Petter f*cking Carlsen."

In addition to his compèring activities John Douglas is also available for children's parties, after dinner speaking and humanist funerals.

Reviews for Texas Instruments TI-83 Graphing Calculator

Texas Instruments TI-83 Graphing Calculator

Brand : Texas Instruments

Sales Rank :

Color : Black

Amazon.com Price : $104.99

Features Texas Instruments TI-83 Graphing Calculator

High contrast display
Many graph styles to choose from
Use side-by-side with the TI-83
Advanced statistics and finance
Input/Output port

Descriptions Texas Instruments TI-83 Graphing Calculator

Perhaps if we'd had this calculator in high school we would have done much better in trigonometry. The Texas Instruments TI-83 is an ideal unit for any math student, combining powerful features for graphing and statistical analysis. The LCD screen displays 16 characters over 8 lines. Though the TI-83's keyboard layout might seem daunting to those who've never laid eyes on a graphic calculator before, the helpful, if intimidatingly thick, manual will get you up and running quickly. The TI-83 includes function, parametric and polar, and sequence plot modes. You can store, graph, and analyze up to 10 functions, 6 parametric and polar functions, and 3 sequence functions. The TI-83's Draw operations allow you to annotate graphs. Along with the advanced math and science features, the TI-83 also includes such financial functions as cash flow, amortization, and time value of money. The included input-output cable lets you link the TI-83 with another TI-83 or a TI-82 for data sharing, and the optional TI-Graph Link software lets you transfer files to a PC.

Perhaps if we'd had this calculator in high school we would have done much better in trigonometry. The Texas Instruments TI-83 is an ideal unit for any math student, combining powerful features for graphing and statistical analysis.

The LCD screen displays 16 characters over 8 lines. Though the TI-83's keyboard layout might seem daunting to those who've never laid eyes on a graphic calculator before, the helpful, if intimidatingly thick, manual will get you up and running quickly.

The TI-83 includes function, parametric and polar, and sequence plot modes. You can store, graph, and analyze up to 10 functions, 6 parametric and polar functions, and 3 sequence functions. The TI-83's Draw operations allow you to annotate graphs. Along with the advanced math and science features, the TI-83 also includes such financial functions as cash flow, amortization, and time value of money.

The included input-output cable lets you link the TI-83 with another TI-83 or a TI-82 for data sharing, and the optional TI-Graph Link software lets you transfer files to a PC.

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Texas Instruments TI-30Xa Scientific Calculator

Brand : Texas Instruments

Sales Rank :

Color : Grey

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Features Texas Instruments TI-30Xa Scientific Calculator

Adds, subtracts, multiplies, and divides fractions entered in traditional numerator/denominator format
Performs trigonometric functions, logarithms, roots, powers, reciprocals, and factorials. Polar/rectangular conversions
Battery powered
Adds, subtracts, multiplies, and divides fractions entered in traditional numerator/denominator format
Performs trigonometric functions, logarithms, roots, powers, reciprocals, and factorials
Polar/rectangular conversions
1-variable statistics include results for mean and standard deviation
Battery powered; slide case included

Descriptions Texas Instruments TI-30Xa Scientific Calculator

Basic, battery-operated scientific calculator with one-line display and general math and science functionality.

Key Features:

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Fraction features

One-variable statistics

Conversions

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Once you get to a certain level of math classes, a regular old calculator just isn't good enough anymore--you need a high-functioning calculator that can perform algebraic, trigonometric, and statistical problems in addition to general mathematical tasks. The Texas Instruments TI-30XA scientific calculator can do this for you. It is extremely handy when it comes to figuring tricky fractions. It can add, subtract, multiply, and divide fractions when entered in a traditional numerator/denominator format. This calculator can also do a variety of conversions, from fractions to decimals, degrees to radians to grads, DMS to decimal to degrees, and polar to rectangular. The display screen holds up to 10 digits.

For high school or college students tackling advanced math, this is a great tool (and a thoughtful back-to-school gift), and with more professors allowing the use of calculators during classes and exams, it's a necessary one. Easy to use and easy to slip into a backpack, the TI-30XA will soon become indispensable for both the serious and the striving math student. --Dana Van Nest

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Texas Instruments TI-30XS MultiView Scientific Calculator

Brand : Texas Instruments

Sales Rank :

Color : BLUE

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Features Texas Instruments TI-30XS MultiView Scientific Calculator

Four-line display
One- and two-variable statistics; Fraction/decimal conversion; Step-by-step fraction simplification
MathPrint(TM) feature
Edit, cut and paste entries
Solar and battery powered

Descriptions Texas Instruments TI-30XS MultiView Scientific Calculator

Designed with unique features to allow you to enter more than one calculation compare results and explore patterns all on the same screen. Enter and view calculations in common Math Notation via the MATHPRINT Mode including stacked fractions exponents exact square roots and more. Quickly view fractions and decimals in alternate forms by using the Toggle Key. Scroll through previous entries and investigate critical patterns as well as viewing and pasting into a new calculation. Explore an x y table of values for a given function automatically or by entering specific x values. Power Source(s): Battery Solar Display Notation: Numeric Number of Display Digits: N/A Display Characters x Display Lines: 16 x 4.Unit of Measure : Each

Powerful, four-line scientific calculator for high school math and science exploration. Designed with unique features to allow you to enter more than one calculation compare results and explore patterns all on the same screen. Enter and view calculations in common Math Notation via the MATHPRINT Mode including stacked fractions exponents exact square roots and more. Quickly view fractions and decimals in alternate forms by using the Toggle Key. Scroll through previous entries and investigate critical patterns as well as viewing and pasting into a new calculation. Explore an x y table of values for a given function automatically or by entering specific x values. Power Source(s): Battery Solar Display Notation: Numeric Number of Display Digits: N/A Display Characters x Display Lines: 16 x 4.Unit of Measure : Each

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MathPrint™ feature

Fraction/decimal conversion

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Solar and battery powered

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Reviews for Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus Graphing Calculator

Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus Graphing Calculator

Brand : Texas Instruments

Sales Rank :

Color : TI83PLUS

Amazon.com Price : $89.99

Features Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus Graphing Calculator

NEW packing does not contain user guide and CD.
Graphing calculator handles calculus, engineering, trigonometric, and financial functions
Can display graphs and tables on split screen to trace graph while scrolling through table values
LCD screen features 64 x 96 pixel resolution for clear, readable display
Built-in memory for storage and analysis of up to 10 matrices
Backed by 1-year warranty

Descriptions Texas Instruments TI-83 Plus Graphing Calculator

The TI-83 Plus has a pragmatic key layout and an easy-to-use graphing interface, with a simple programming language for creating conversion programs. The TI-83 Plus stores and analyzes up to 10 matrices combined with data storage in lists containing up to 999 elements per list. You can also solve equations interactively for different variables. With the TI-83 Plus, you can view an equation, its graph, and the coordinates all at one time. Jump from point to point by entering a number. Several useful plot types are available, including scatter, box-and-whisker, XY-line, histogram, and normal probability plots. Advanced statistics and regression analysis, graphical analysis, and data analysis are readily accessed, along with features for calculus, engineering, financial, logarithm, trigonometry, and hyperbolic functions--all crucial tools for advanced analysis. With its clear display and fast processing, the TI-83 Plus incorporates graphing tools for mathematics and science course work, including statistics and finance. Incredibly useful for college boards--PSAT/NMSQT, SAT I, SAT II, Math, IC, and IIC--the TI-83 is essential equipment for advanced placement courses in chemistry, physics, and calculus.

For students in math and sciences, or for anyone new to graphing calculators, Texas Instruments has created the TI-83 Plus--a powerful, problem-solving tool with features for storing, graphing, and analyzing up to 10 functions. Plus, it displays graphs and evaluates tables on a split screen, allowing you to trace the graph and scroll through table values simultaneously.

The clear, readable display exhibits 12 characters and eight lines, in 64 x 96 pixels on an LCD screen. The TI-83 Plus has a pragmatic key layout and an easy-to-use graphing interface, with a simple programming language for creating conversion programs. The TI-83 Plus stores and analyzes up to 10 matrices combined with data storage in lists containing up to 999 elements per list. You can also solve equations interactively for different variables.

With the TI-83 Plus, you can view an equation, its graph, and the coordinates all at one time. Jump from point to point by entering a number. Several useful plot types are available, including scatter, box-and-whisker, XY-line, histogram, and normal probability plots. Advanced statistics and regression analysis, graphical analysis, and data analysis are readily accessed, along with features for calculus, engineering, financial, logarithm, trigonometry, and hyperbolic functions--all crucial tools for advanced analysis.

Matrix operations            Graphing features

Educational Apps(TM)               Equation solver

With its clear display and fast processing, the TI-83 Plus incorporates graphing tools for mathematics and science course work, including statistics and finance. Incredibly useful for college boards--PSAT/NMSQT, SAT I, SAT II, Math, IC, and IIC--the TI-83 is essential equipment for advanced placement courses in chemistry, physics, and calculus.

The addition of the optional TI-Graph Link (software and cable) allows you to connect the calculator to your computer, permitting the transfer of files and data between machines. The TI-83 is powered by four AAA alkaline batteries and one lithium battery for backup, with an automatic shutoff to save energy. It also comes with a hard slide cover and is supported by a one-year limited warranty. --Barbara Price

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What you need to know for Texas Instruments TI-84 Plus C Silver Edition Graphing Calculator, Black

Texas Instruments TI-84 Plus C Silver Edition Graphing Calculator, Black

Brand : Texas Instruments

Sales Rank :

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High resolution, full-color backlit display
TI Rechargeable Battery
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Leeds Damnation Festival

A short trip from Anathema HQ to the near-impossible to find students union of Leeds university for a load more metal. The set up was pretty good though the beer provided in the dressing room was un-refridgerated Carling - drink number 473 (of 474) on my list of preferred post-show beverages. Electric Wizard, on before us, where the loudest noise of any kind I've ever heard, making preparations for our slot a bit of a headache, though the pedal boards I made on the last tour finally proved their worth in a festival setting. The show went very well despite Vincent utterly destroying his guitar cable during a mid-song stamp. Later I enjoyed Nicholas Barker's band Lock Up who generously shared their stage with those wishing to dive off it, the largest and most menacing of their number looking more like a sweaty man gingerly belly flopping into a child's paddling pool than whatever it was he imagined himself to be. Another ignored etiquette altogether, randomly flinging himself onto an unsuspecting female audience member, almost knocking her out in the process. Idiot.

Hellfire festival in Birmingham next.

Hellfire Festival..

...attached to a music trade show at the annoyingly large Birmingham NEC, bloody miles away from the train station. When I got there it took a fair while to find someone who could give me a pass, but luckily I was just in time to witness the joys of Kiss covers band "Dressed To Kill". If one is going to form a tribute act, surely there's better acts to ape than Kiss for pity's sake? Maybe it's the dressing up that appeals. While we're on the subject, I want to get OC/DC together if anyone's interested - we'll take ages to set up our gear, making sure it's just right, then play the same riff over and over for the whole set. Anyway, after deciding I would ignore fake Paul Stanley's advice to catch them in Swindon in a couple of weeks I went for a wander around "Music Live" in the hall next door, an event which magically brought back all the horrors of seven years working in a guitar shop, then multiplied them by fifty. The place was full of men playing bad guitar solos. I hate guitar solos. Actually that's not strictly true - I hate the vast majority of guitar solos, but particularly those without accompaniment played by punters in music shops. Honestly, just play a chord - you'll know if you like it or not.

The show went well anyway, despite the ludicrous fifteen minute changeover time (nice of them to admit it was their amp that was faulty when the show was over). Warm Carlsberg (441) backstage this time, and no catering I might add. Shoddy.

Flying to Lebanon on Friday. That should be interesting.

Old news for many of you but the first dates of 2010 have been announced on Anathema's official website. So far in April we have Deventer, Dordrecht and Drachten, part of what's shaping up to be the places beginning with "D" tour. Then in May there's three dates in Turkey followed by a couple in Russia. Can't wait to get on the road again.

On my way to meet the band for our six-day jaunt around Turkey. Should be a lot of fun.

4th May     Antalya

5th May     Eskisehir

6th May     Bursa

7th May     Istanbul

8th May     Ankara

9th May     Izmir

Hope the bus has decent air-con.

Russia

Another flight at bollocks o'clock (or bollocks-hundred hours if you've done military service) in the morning from Heathrow meaning a through-the-night slog down the M6 from Heckmondwike via Liverpool. Basically you miss a night's sleep doing it this way, one you'll never get a chance to catch up on. I bet I missed some great dreams. The fatigue does make for quite a pleasant floaty feeling on the plane after a couple of ales though, and conveniently helps one overlook the rude behaviour of French fellow passengers (you know who you are Madame avec le gros cul). Mark (from Cornwall) quite sensibly booked himself a hotel room near the airport for the night so he's nice and fresh, the bastard. Now why didn't I think of that? Les was most impressed with Terminal 5, particularly the thoughtful inclusion of a bar right next to our boarding gate. I don't know how but we managed to shrink our check-in baggage tally to nine items from nineteen - a miracle of downsizing if ever I saw one, though Dan still carries with him a suitcase the size of a chest freezer. First time flying with British Airways for me - might as well have been EasyJet. Most unremarkable. Our Russian hosts met us at the airport. They are called Igor and Dmitri. It's like arriving in Scotland and being met by Jimmy McSporran. Perfect.

London

The near demise of a crow and a motorcyclist were nothing compared to the greenfly genocide on the windscreen of Les's trusty van on our eventful trip down to the capital. An atmospheric show at the Islington Academy was almost cut short due to a baffling technical issue affecting Danny's amp and pedals.  It turns out John's china crash had fallen from the drum riser, hitting the switch on the power outlet supplying Dan's side of the stage on its way down. Now what are the chances of that happening? An impromptu acoustic "Are You There?" filled the gap nicely and we were on our way again. It was an excellent gig, and I think everyone's now enjoying a well-earned chill out before Germany in a few weeks.

Frankfurt

A very hot and sweaty concert played to several hundred happy and excited Frankfurters. Danny rather aptly dedicated his performance of "Are You There?" to a chap in the audience called Amir. Most amusing.

Graspop

A nice mellow voyage to Zebrugge on the North Sea ferry for the band to play a blinder in a packed marquee, opening with a mighty rendition of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir. Afterwards I met someone who is kind of partially responsible for my being there. The gentleman's name is Biff Byford and his band is Saxon. When I was fifteen my uncle took me to see them play at Sheffield city hall. It was the first gig I'd ever been to. Not too long after that I bought my first electric guitar, and now I make a living travelling the world tuning and re-stringing the things. So I shook Biff's hand and said thanks. All he had to say in response was "Who are you?" It meant something to me though. I also met a very knackered Lips, lead singer with Anvil. He's just as nice a bloke in the flesh as he is in the highly entertaining documentary, "Anvil: The Story of Anvil".

Jamie was rather keen to show everyone his very smart yet curiously branded sunglasses which apparently he found in his car. Here's a photo of him wearing them (click for larger view):

How they came up with that name I've no idea, but I reckon they should team up with the company that makes the television we saw in Turkey. I'd buy shares in Arcelik and Knobbout.

Viking Line to Stockholm..

We're on our way to Stockholm on the SS Gabriella once again, Les having just belted out a more than passable rendition of Tom Jones' Delilah - part of our formidable karaoke task force which also comprises Anneka, Petter (voice of an angel, mouth of a trucker) Carlsen, Lee and John Douglas (though the latter was not quite pissed enough to take part) and other notable absentees. Tim's picking up the mended bus sometime tomorrow after having dropped us (and the trailer) somewhere random in Sweden - we'll wait twelve hours or so until he returns, then we head to Oslo. Quite unlike our Scandinavian tour this time last year, it's starting to feel a bit parky of a night.